I don’t mean to be disparaging of my own gender, I really don’t.  But there seems to be something about the way that men of a certain age cross the road….


Imagine that there is a zebra or pelican crossing about 10 yards up the road from where you are stood, and you are trying to cross the road.  Most people would simply walk up the road on the side they are on, use the crossing to cross over the road, and then walk back to where they are trying to get to.


But a few men of a certain age seem not to want to follow the usual road-crossing etiquette, and I cannot for the life of me figure out why.  Is there some sort of substance on the button or on the tarmac of a crossing that they cannot abide?  Is there an unwritten rule that says that crossings are for everyone else, except them?  Is there something that suddenly occurs to them – say, for example, that they actually *do* own the road and have right of way and therefore vehicles are all supposed to stop and let them do their own thing, no matter what?


If anyone knows of the Highway Code reference to giving way to men on their own running diagonally across the road whilst attempting to dodge traffic moving far too fast to actually be dodged safely, could you please direct  me to the relevant section?


As far as I knew, crossings, be they zebra, pelican or any other animal, were designed to be places where pedestrians could cross the road in safety.  I thought that any and all pedestrians were permitted to use them, and all drivers were supposed to respect them.   Have I got this wrong?  Have I misunderstood the way they are used my whole life?


Could it be – is it possible – that crossings discriminate?  Do they actively forbid certain people – white men aged 45+ out walking on their own – from using them?  Is the art of running across the road between streams of moving traffic something I’m going to have to learn how to do before it’s too late and I’m prevented from ever crossing the road by militant zebras and pelicans?


Would love to know the answers, just in case I find myself stuck on this side of the road forever!